Lindsey and Jamie Spinney came to AART for support to start their family. They have two sons conceived through IVF.
When and how did you learn you were having challenges with your fertility?
We started to suspect after a couple years of actively trying to conceive. After almost a year, I went to my family doctor at the time looking for some advice and help and was basically dismissed. I was told to go home and have sex three times a week. That obviously didn’t work and after trying for 4.5 years, we found it very hard to believe that we missed the window every single month!
How did you feel when you began this journey?
We felt discouraged but also, I think we felt hopeful, for maybe the first time. Having trouble conceiving was never anything that you heard much about, people would often ask us why we didn’t have kids and would just expect that if we didn’t have them, then it must mean we didn’t want them. People who get pregnant easily don’t always know that other people struggle.
What was the most difficult part of your fertility journey?
I think for us the most difficult part was finally feeling like this was it, it was finally going to happen for us, we had gathered the money, we took the leap of faith, we were putting all of our hopes and dreams into this IVF cycle and ended up having our very first one cancelled. We didn’t realize that that could even happen, whether it wasn’t explained, it went over our heads because we were the closest we had ever been and didn’t want to hear that, and didn’t understand how in depth the process was, whatever the reasoning, we were devastated when we were told that I wasn’t responding to the drugs. I then couldn’t help but feel like it was my fault and feel this huge amount of guilt. I felt like as a wife, I was suppose to be able to give my husband a child that we both so badly wanted and for as hopeful as we had both felt, in that moment, I felt very defeated! I remember being told a couple times “you’re still young!” “You’re just a baby!” “You still have time” I was 27 when we started our first round, so yes, maybe I was among some of the youngest to do a cycle, but hearing that never helped me because no matter what my age was, my desire to become a mother was very strong! I had wanted to be a mother literally my entire life! It’s all I wanted! Thankfully with the amazing support from the Dr’s and staff and our families, we decided to try a second round!
When you were a patient, how did AART support you?
The staff was incredible to us! We were very new and had never known anyone else who had to go through fertility treatments so the entire experience was sometimes overwhelming. The nurses were excellent at explaining the steps and the procedures, giving that extra word of encouragement and giving a hug on those days when sometimes emotions would take over. Stephanie and Kendra, the medical administrators, were always extremely sweet and I feel that some days Kendra kept me hopeful. I had a couple days where I would call in tears because I would be so discouraged and she helped me through! She was that ear that I needed.
We can’t say enough about (pharmacy manager) Al either! He is the absolute best. He’s so patient and so compassionate, he took the time to answer any and every question we had, and he always made sure we felt comfortable with the medications and how to administer injections. Even if it meant explaining more than once.
How do you feel where you are now in your fertility journey?
We feel very lucky and very blessed to have our two boys thanks to IVF! There are some days it still doesn’t feel real to us. There was a time just three short years ago, if anyone would’ve told us that we would be here, right now, in this moment, with two healthy, happy, amazing boys, we wouldn’t have believed them.
What words of encouragement would you give to someone just starting on their fertility journey?
As hard as it is and as impossible as it may seem at times, do not give up! do not lose hope! One thing we learned the second we walked through the doors on the first morning of our first cycle is that we weren’t alone! Every single woman, every single couple was there for the same thing! We had the same desire, the same dream! Some of the greatest support came from couples who had been there before! Infertility is something that women/couples need to stop being ashamed of and afraid to admit! There needs to be more recognition of the struggle, more support, more talking, more action to make struggling with infertility in silence a thing of the past! I went from being ashamed and embarrassed that we had to do IVF to being extremely proud and grateful and thankful that we had that as an option, otherwise, we may still be trying for that family we both desperately wanted!
Thank you, Lindsey and Jamie, for sharing your story.Leave a reply →